I’ve leaned to embrace and love my empath but before that happened I found her inconvenient and downright insufferable. As a child I would burst into tears and was told I cried too much. When I was in my twenties I used drugs and drank to self-medicate. When I started to learn to create healthy boundaries that’s when the relationship changed. I started to see my sensitivity as energy and information instead of a destructive wave of pain.

Dr. Judith Orloff, author of The Empath’s Survival Guide, offers this short quiz to evaluate whether or not you are an empath:

Ask yourself:

• Have I been labeled as “too emotional” or overly sensitive?

• If a friend is distraught, do I start feeling it too?

• Are my feelings easily hurt?

• Am I emotionally drained by crowds, require time alone to revive?

• Do my nerves get frayed by noise, smells, or excessive talk?

• Do I prefer taking my own car places so that I can leave when I please?

• Do I overeat to cope with emotional stress?

• Am I afraid of becoming engulfed by intimate relationships?

According to Dr. Orloff, “If you answer ‘yes’ to 1-3 of these questions, you’re at least part empath. Responding ‘yes’ to more than 3 indicates that you’ve found your emotional type.”

“Recognizing that you’re an empath is the first step in taking charge of your emotions instead of constantly drowning in them,” Dr. Orloff says. Once you begin to understand your empathic nature, you can learn to take better care of yourself emotionally.

Do you want to get comfortable with change? First step is to learn your energetic life pulse. It’s like breathing and looks like this:

• Expansion, your aura/field will expand, you will manifest and life will have more flow. You’re plugged into to a deeper meaning to life and you might feel like anything is possible. Indicators: Physically you feel high. Mentally clear and sharp. Emotionally peaceful or joyful. Spiritually you’re one with everything.

• Stasis, you won't expand any more but there is a pause.

• Contraction, and everything that you learned from the expansion will come in and challenge and help heal wounds. This can be frustrating but it's a very important step because it integrates and creates a new reality. Indicators: Physically you might feel drained, fatigued or low energy. Mentally unsure, cloudy and doubtful. Emotionally prickly, morose or blue. Spiritually…what’s that?

This is the frame work of the energetic life pulse and it’s the same for everyone but the details are all very different. Energetic expansion is what will drive change, it holds new feelings of hopefulness and possibility. Once you feel and explore this to the fullest there’s a chance that old defenses, beliefs, fears, and hurts that keep you stuck in “safe” patterns will come up for you. To navigate this terrain it will be important to understand what energetic life pulse stage is at work and you can rest in knowing if you are in a contraction your expansion is just around the corner.

A very simplistic way of looking at smudging is to remove energetic clutter and create space for something new to come in. The steps:

1. You can smudge with sage, white sage, cedar, Palo Santo, Epsom salts and sea salt. Make sure the plants you are burning comes from a trusted source. I know a couple different healers that grow their own sage, you could too. We also have smudge stick bundles at Modrn. I usually don't smudge when the kids are around because they don't like the smell but if this is a concern I will usually smudge with Epsom salts. The process is a little different and I'll include it below in this email.

2. You will need the old energy to leave your house so it's important to have windows and/or doors open.

3. There are lots of different ways and ceremonies to do but the most simplistic one I do in my home and space is to light the sage stick or what I'm smudging with and walk clockwise in the house/room. I start in the east and complete a circle. I sometimes I will say a prayer or thank or release the energy to go.

4. I will leave my door or windows open for as long as I feel that the space needs it, this could be 5 minutes or all day. It also depends on the temp outside.

I like to smudge my healing space or home once a week or if I have clients or guests coming in I’ll do it before a visit or session. Don't be surprised if you start to hear things like "I love the vibe/feel when I walk into your house."

What you'll need to burn Epsom salt

• A cast iron pan (with a long handle if you can)

• Trivet or non-incendiary silicon mat

• 1/4 cup Epsom salts

• 3 tablespoons rubbing alcohol (91 percent isopropyl alcohol)

• Long wooden match or candle taper lighter

Instructions

1. Place salt in pile in the cast iron pan.

2. Pour the isopropyl alcohol over the salt, saturating it completely.

3. Place cast iron pan on the trivet or silicon mat in the room that needs to be cleared. Keep it away from flammable items such as fabric or carpeting and make sure there is plenty of space around the pan so it can't ignite anything nearby.

4. Light the salt and alcohol with a long wooden match or the taper, keeping your arm and hand well clear of the flame.

5. Stand back and allow it to burn completely. Allow the pan to cool before you attempt to remove it. Never leave flames unattended.

Safety Tips

When burning, consider the following tips.

• Clear everything out of the room that could be placed next to the pan.

• Always watch the flame and have a towel or fire extinguisher handy.

Non-Flammable Option

Epsom Salt

1. Fill a small bowl with Epsom salts.

2. Place it in the appropriate location.

3. Empty and refill the bowl frequently, about once a week or more frequently during times of stress or negative energy.

Defuse Essential Oil  (my kids love this because they can change what is defused)

I view essential oils as plant medicine and like any medicine quality of the ingredients is very important because you might be inhaling, digesting or putting them on your skin. My go to right now is:

• Young Living (I can order them at cost for you. I usually place an order once a month)

• Enfleurage